MOSES PREDICTS GAME THREE OF THE 2010 SEASON!!!

 

HAIL TO THEE, O SEAHAWK FANS!!!! IT IS I, MOSES, HERE TO PREDICT THE SEAHAWKS / Chargers GAME!!!!

 

 

"I'm Ron Burgundy. Go %$%# yourself, San Diego."


-
Will Ferrell as anchorman Ron Burgundy in the movie Anchorman

This week’s issue is brought to you by this week’s sponsor, the Braylon Edwards Cell Phone. Do you find yourself in the position to make a bad idea/ Are you embarrassed to use the MANY driving services that you can afford (or are given you by your company for FREE) because you are embarrassed to be seen using them? Well, worry about embarrassment no more. The Braylon Edwards Cell Phone comes with only one number: a direct line to a TAXI service. No matter what you press, you will get the local taxi service to come and get you with a minimum of fuss and humiliation. Half the cabbies don’t know who you are, the other half don’t even know what the NFL is. This cell phone also comes made of the sturdiest plastic alloy available. Feel free to use this phone to throw at meddling troublemakers, or drop it in your pitcher of champagne: It will STILL WORK! Yes, when you are out on the town and need to get home without shame, it’s the Braylon Edwards Cell Phone.

 

Brandon Jacob Helmet Glove sold separately.

 

NUMBER OF THE WEEK: 18. The Broncos ran 18 more offensive plays than the Seahawks (74 to 56).

LAST WEEK: Tell me again why the Seahawks can't play EVERY GAME at Qwest??? we are 1-1...

 

Last week, the Seattle Seahawks traveled to Denver, Colorado, where their mile high expectations after beating the San Francisco 49ers was only matched by the altitude of Denver itself.

Unfortunately for the Seahawks, the Broncos were more of a reality party crasher than hospitable guests. Before you could say, "Matt, where are you THROWING that ball?", the Seahawks were limping home victims of an Orange crushing 31-14 defeat. The Seahawks had more turnovers than a local McDonald's at closing time, giving the Broncos gifts of three interceptions and a fumbled punt inside the 10. These four turnovers turned out to be huge in the game and gave the Broncos their 10th straight home opening win.

It seems that once again the newer version of the Seattle Seahawks are becoming another Seahawk team that cannot win on the road and can only win in the safe home of Qwest Field.

BUT....

Believe it or not, the Seahawks have simply done what ten NFL teams have done so far this year: win their only home game and lose their only road game. This pattern of winning at home it seems is not only something reserved for Qwest Field.

Check this out: Last season, the amount of teams that won at least half of their regular season games at home was 24 out of 32 (75%). The amount of teams that had a .500 or better road record? Only 13 out of 32 (40%). Apparently, there is nothing like home cooking in the NFL for just about everyone.

 

 

(ring....ring.......Aunt Bea??? Aunt Bea??? Please pick up the white courtesy phone....)

 

BUT....

That being said, not all NFL homes are created equal. There is something unique about the 12th Man in Qwest Field. For one, it is one of the loudest places to play in the NFL. It is so loud that the noise level presents us with this week's:

TAKE A CRACK AT THIS PHRASE

This issue, I take on the following phrase:

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD"

....here we go!

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD".....You have to use hand signals to order food from the vendors.

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD".....Season ticket holders have to take American Sign Language classes.

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD".....The airport nearby complains to THEM about the noise.

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD".....Metallica members have to wear earplugs if they go to a game.

"IT GETS SO LOUD AT QWEST FIELD".....The National Guard uses the crowd noise to simulate combat in drills.

Without a doubt, the 12th Man is more than just a name placed on the fans of the Seattle Seahawks: It is a badge of honor worn by every screaming fan in blue and green.

Home field advantage has been around for CENTURIES even, yes, before football. What a sad world that must have been.

The idea that we as warriors or fighters are comfortable in our natural surroundings is something proven in our history books time and time again.

Ring the bell: school is IN in this week's TOP THREE.

So, here from our office located at home comes..…(drum roll)…

"THE TOP THREE BEST HOME FIELD ADVANTAGES OF WORLD HISTORY."

   ENGLAND, SUMMER OF 1940, BATTLE OF BRITAIN

  AMERICAN COLONISTS, 1775, AMERICAN REVOLUTION

   ANYONE PLAYING THE ST. LOUIS RAMS ANYWHERE

 

BUT....

The Seahawks will need every 12th Man yelling their loudest this weekend, because coming into town are the perennial playoff team from the AFC West, the San Diego Chargers.

THIS WEEK'S MATCHUP:

SAN DIEGO VS. SEATTLE

The Chargers come into town a part of that "Win at home, Lose on the road" group that I mentioned earlier. After starting the season losing to a surprising Kansas City team, they returned home to take full revenge upon the Jacksonville Jaguars last week, crushing them 38-13.

Many people year after year recently have anointed these Chargers as the next Super Bowl darling. Year after year, February has found this talented squad sitting home watching the big game on TV like the rest of us. Despite making the playoffs five of the last six seasons, they always seem to still be one game or one play away from getting to the Super Bowl.

This disappointing playoff season cut short year after year made me think I should retool their theme song for this week's :

 

This week, I sing a parody of the San Diego Charger theme song (yeah, the one Chris Berman always sings).

So, Grab your favorite Dodge Charger, plug in your battery Charger, and sing the following song

(To the Tune of “San Diego Super Chargers”):

San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
Lose!

They’re coming our way,
We're gonna frazzle them with our Qwest Field play.
The time has come,
The 12th Man will see they have no fun.
With loud loud noise and screaming
They won’t hear their cry,
We'll give it all we've got, and more
And watch the Charger hopes die!

San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
Lose!

They've got a plan,
They won’t hear it because of our super fans.
They will seek,
Some earplugs and sympathy.
We'll bring you noise, you Charger boys
With high volume  play.
We won't let up a minute,
We're yelling  all the way - all the way!

San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
Lose!

They're coming our way
And their eardrums will pay.
12th Man is coming at you.
Now you’re hearing is through!

San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
San Diego Loser Chargers,
San Diego Chargers!
Lose!

BUT....

If the Seahawks are to pull off the mild upset of the Chargers, it will take a lot more than a bunch of screaming fans. It will take a better job of holding onto the ball on offense and taking the ball away from the defense. 

 

 


WILL THE SEAHAWKS ESTABLISH HOME FIELD ADVANTAGE???

WILL THE CHARGERS ESTABLISH THEMSELVES AS A SUPER BOWL FRONTRUNNER???

CAN ANYONE GET ME KENDRA'S PHONE NUMBER???

MOSES PREDICTS:

 

 

 

 

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